Surrender surrender surrender. Do I even know what that means? Surrendering what I have-my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions, my relationships, and my life plans-all to Jesus. Not just part of it, or one and not the other, but ALL OF IT.

When I really started thinking about this, I realized that surrendering is not a very easy thing to do at first. It's far from easy. I want to know what is going on. I want at least to control part of my life. But wait. It's not even my life to control and deal with. I'm not mine, I'm God's. He is the one who created me, and made me. Yes, He made me so I could have a choice. I am choosing to serve my savior, Jesus Christ. Therefore, I am His, and I'm not even mine. It's not even about me. It's all about Him. He's the one who is doing everything and has everything under control. It's His life and His Kingdom, and I am His servant, doing what He wants me to do.

It's sometimes a comforting thought, to think that I'm not even my own, that I'm God's, and not even mine. Who else would I want to have me anyways? I mean, come on, He's the ruler over everything, and His Kingdom reigns. He is perfect, loving, just, and full of grace. He is my Dad, my Father, my Perfect Father. Why would I even want to take control over my own life when I can put it into a loving, perfect, grace-giving, Father's hands?

But it's still hard. I have realized that I have to keep telling myself and God that I know His plans and ideas are far more wiser and better for me (and others) than mine will ever be. Comparing my thoughts and ideas to His, I have no chance. I have to keep saying that, and pray that I can truly surrender from my heart, giving everything to my Dad, totally from my heart.

So, this is what I have been thinking about and wrestling with recently. Thought I would share it. It may sound really elementary, and may be something you have heard for a while. But have you really dug deep and thought about it? Have you gone deep into your heart, and thought about it there? If it's anything like what I'm thinking about, I can guarantee that it won't be very elementary if you search your heart for answers about surrendering.

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Pictures are to come. The internet isn't very good where I am at in Mexico, so I have a hard time uploading. I will post them when I can J .